Not The Series, But My Little League World

It was the 60's. A long long time ago in an era when kids played until dark...unless they were playing baseball! Then they played under the bright lights! I started in Pee Wee League at the age of seven. My uniform fit about like a banana peel on a pencil, but I had one and I wore it proudly. My team was the Pirates and we took the field in blue and white. We were a rag tag bunch of kids with average at best talent.We weren't so much concerned about winning as we were about competing. We didn't want any participation trophies, just that coveted snow cone or dill pickle the coach bought us after the game. There was also a delicacy of Frito pie made by cutting down the side of the Frito package and pouring the chili and onions straight into the chips! (You had to buy that yourself, but I felt it was too good a memory to leave out!)

We had an older league as well. "Little League" proper. It was reserved for kids 9 through 11. Some of the  kids at that level were beginning to show signs of advanced talent. I remember a few names. My brother Stephen was one who could definitely hold his own with them. Louie Pope and Emmit Locket were two more who made a name for themselves as pitchers. Later on they would be standouts in high school ball. There were the Bell brothers, Dennis and Derwin. One of them was a pitcher who threw smoke and had control. Never knew what became of them. Then there were the two brothers I remember as being the legends of our lesgue. The Lidel brothers, Lane and Mark. Big guys who could play both sides of the ball. Mark was a tall, slender fella who pitched and could hit pretty good as well. But Lane...Lane is the one who remains a legend in my mind. One night the Lidels and the Bells squared off for a game, Tigers vs. Indians, Lane, the younger of the Lidels, came up to bat. He strutted, as was his usual way of walking, up to the plate and took the first pitch for ball one. The next pitch was a strike. Lane was unmoved by the call. It was the third pitch that put him in the history books. I believe Derwin was pitching and was throwing particularly hard that night. He went into his stretch and came home with the pitch. A hard fastball. Lane Lidel attempted to lay down a bunt but instead bunted a home run! No one had ever done that before and in the 55 years since, I have not heard of anyone doing it again! 

I played and was average, so no all stars or anything like that for me. I played until I was 17 and decided money in the pocket and gas in the car was more fun than baseball. I couldn't let the game go alltogether. I played church league softball until I was thirty! My old body has long since turned traitor on me, but I still love the game and can watch one on TV and never complain about the speed of the game. I just love watching...and remembering. Baseball, hot dogs and apple pie (maybe Frito pie!), it all has special meaning to me. 

The Mosquito Truck

 

Many moons ago, when the buffalo roamed the plains and stuff like that, I was a little boy. OK, so I wasn't born in the 1800's, but you get the picture...I'm old. It has been a long time since I was a kid. I can still recall those days, though! We rode our bikes and played around the neighborhood until dark. Life was good.

One memory that stands out quite vividly is that glorious thrill we got as kids when the mosquito man came to our neighborhood to spray God only knows what to ward off those pesky bugs. Grab your bike kids! It's time to ride around completely covered by the fog of spray behind the truck! I hear it's DDT day!! To think that no one went to jail for allowing their kid to do this is amazing given the natureof the Karen's in the world today. Beware! They are everywhere, lurking in the shadows and cracks of the very ground you walk on!

Seriously, though...What were our parents thinking?! We were kids. It wasn't expected of us to think. That's why moms and grandmas carried switches, or at least had access to a tree whereby you might be expected to go cut your own. If we messed up we got a whipping. This was pre-time-out. Mom or grandma would put that switch on your bottom to remind you you messed up and to permanently place in your mind not to do whatever it was you just did. If you did something egregious enough they would stand up and grab you by one arm. That way they could whip you in a circle, thus shortening the distance they might have to travel should you be opposed to the whipping. Grandma usually tired out or became dizzy and you got off easy. Mom on the other hand, not so much. It's a wonder we never got run over by that truck or worse yet, got cancer from the poison spray! Some may have. I don't know. I don't recall anyone among my group succumbing to the effects of the moquito fog.

What has happened to our country? You won't find kids doing the things we did back then. No staying outside all day. No playing in the front yard unsupervised even! Too much meanness in the world. Too many perverts. Too much pure evil period! Now days kids are too busy with Xbox and Roblox and Mine Craft and that mess to play outside anyway! What we need is fewer electronic gadgets and more porches where mom and grandma can sit and rock and visit with the neighbor from down the street while watching kids play. And mosquito trucks...we need more mosquito trucks.

Dumb Stuff I Do...

 

If I had to narrow it down to one thing in my life I have done that was, shall we say, "unenlightened", I do not think I could do it. Dumb stuff seems to follow me wherever I go in life. How many kids do you know who can leave music class headed to home room and took a two month detour by way of a hospital bed? 

Tonight was no exception. I had had lunch at my mother-in-law's house and left headed home. I checked the clock on my car radio and it read 5:30. I figured I would just keep going past my house and go straight to church a few miles down the road. Church starts at 6:00, so I would make it just a few minutes early...no big deal, right? Well... 

I pulled into the parking lot at 5:45 and noticed there were no cars there yet. Not unusual for a Sunday night during NFL season. Most people get there right at six. When six o'clock rolled around and still no one but me on the lot I was puzzled. Where the heck was everyone? I checked my phone and saw the problem. My car clock was an hour ahead! I felt so stupid!! It appears that when I set the minutes back to correct the time this morning, I somehow set the hour up one. Only me man, only me.

If the hour were not so late right now (I double checked and the clock is correct) I suppose I could cite many more examples from my "body of work", but I'm tired and this will have to do. Have a great night everyone!

It Really Happened!

I remember back in high school, we had a baseball coach who was, to me, the epitome of cool. Coach Hopkins. He was the freshman football coach and the baseball guy. In the summer he pitched for the area semi-pro baseball team. He was good, too!He could make the ball dance in the air! However, as is the case with all things, Coach Hopkins grew tired or bored or whatever and decided to go a different direction. He left coaching and became a Texas State Trooper. 

I got this story straight from his wife, so I know it is true. Coach was fresh out of Trooper school and was assigned to an area in Buffalo Texas, about halfway between Dallas and Houston. 

Now for the good part. On his first day on his own Coach stopped a speeding car on I-10. He approached the car unaware of what awaited him inside. He walked up to the driver's side window and leaned down to look inside. That's when he saw what could never be unseen. Two occupants. A man and a woman. Completely nude. Sans clothing. "Butt nekid."  Au Naturale as the French would say. Seems they were on their honeymoon and wanted to "let it all hang out"! Legend has it he let them go with a warning. I guess he pretty much had to, I mean...he couldn't pin anything on them!

Here's to our Troopers, Texas or wherever! I'll bet there are many more even better stories out there!

Adventures In Smokey Mountain Travel.

 

That was fun! Just spent a week in the Great Smokey Mountains and I got the T-shirt to show for it! Well... It's a dirty T-Shirt that I took with me on vacation and it's in the hamper waiting to get washed, but I got a T-Shirt! (It wasn't dirty when I took it with me. Just to be clear.)

I should explain that my brother lives in the Smokies and I spent the week with him and his wife. "Enjoyd the livin' tar out of it!" as the old timers used to say. One hour north of Knoxville on a mountain to be more specific. I can't remember the last time I have enjoyed myself so much while doing a whole lot of nothing! Hauling off scrap metal. Feeding sheep and chickens and dogs. Taking the cow to the vet for AI. Picking up said cow from vet. Changing the battery in an old pick-up. Watching a very skilled man use a large piece of heavy equipment to clear a patch of land. Stuff like that. No trips to see the great sights and sounds of East Tennessee and North Carolina. Just a lot of quality time spent with the old man who used to be young like me and who somewhat looks like me! 

I realize the trip sounds like it would not be all that fun, but I had a blast! Time with family takes on a whole different context as we get older. It wasn't about going to the National Forrest or DollyWood or any of that. It was about time spent with family. This was time well spent!

Listen For His Voice

 When I was dealing with cancer, 14 years ago, I would often lay awake in the wee hours of the morning. One O'clock. Two O'clock. Couldn't sleep. My mind was on fast forward and I couldn't shut it off. Too many "what if's" racing through my head. What if the chemo doesn't work? What if the surgery goes wrong? What if I loose my hair? (OK...That one was already in progress and it wasn't from the medicine!) What if my family has to go on without me?

What if I die?

The "what if's" were a major problem, but I didn't want to tell anyone. I was determined to tough it out on my own. Besides, who could help me anyway?! So I lay there, night after night. I tossed and I turned. I got up and played on my computer. I lay back down and tossed some more. 

Then one night, as the darkness of the room tried to hide all hope, I thought about Job and how he was in distress and how he questioned God. That did not go so well for him, but it got me thinking. Many characters from the bible crossed my mind. Then it hit me...Elijah. God caused a strong wind, then a great fire followed by an earthquake, but He was not in those.Then God spoke to Elijah in a still small voice. God asked Elijah, "What are you doing here?" While I did not hear a voice, I did get the message. What was I doing?! It was not so much what I WAS doing as what I was NOT doing. I was not trusting God. I was not listening for His voice. I was feeling sorry for myself! Then I did something I had needed to do the whole time...I prayed. I turned the whole mess over to God...and I slept. For the first time in a long time, I slept. When I woke up I was determined that I was not going to let the "what if's" get back in my head. 

You know what? My chemo treatments went fine. My surgery went perfectly. God handled the heavy lifting when I finally got out of the way!

It is not easy to turn your situation over to God sometimes. It's hard, actually. But if we stop getting in the way with our worries and listen for that still small voice, we may just find God in the room with us! He may not be in what the doctors have to say. He may not be in what we read on the internet. He may just be in that still small voice we hear in His whisper,"I got this. Get out of the way and let Me handle things." 

Listen? Can you hear it?

Brushes With Fame On The Car Lot

 Celeb sightings part two!

I have mentioned before that I spent about ten years working as a Used Car Salesman. During that time I was privileged to meet many people...some of them famous! You never know who you will stumble into on a car lot. 

In 1998 I was working for a Cadillac dealership near Dallas. We also sold very nice used vehicles and that is where I spent most of my time. However, I would venture down to the main store from time to time, and that was where I met a fella whom I had admired through the magic of television. He was one of my favorite pro football players of all time. Preston Pearson of the World Champion Dallas Cowboys! He wore that number 26 jersey like a king wears a crown! He was "Mr. 3rd down and short" and was the "go to" guy for Roger Staubach for years. Pearson was in our dealership with his press agent who was buying a new Cadillac Escalade. Unfortunately I was not the one selling it. He offered to sign 8X10 photos of himself in action. I took him up on the offer. 

Not long after that incident I found my way to a new dealership. It was located in Terrell, Texas. That is why I happened to meet the next guy. I was in the Ford building for some reason when I looked up and saw a young man I knew looked familiar. I wasn't sure why, but he did. I walked over and apologized for staring at him and asked his name. "Jamie Foxx", he replied. Yes! I said, "You're Ugly Wanda!" He laughed and said he was indeed Ugly Wanda. I should explain for any youngsters reading this that Ugly Wanda was a character on a show called In Living Color on a new network called "The WB." Foxx was at the dealership to buy his mom a new car. A nice Taurus, as I recall. He was rather stand-offish, but not rude.

Shortly after I met Foxx I was working the early shift on the used car side. I watched as a nice Cadillac stopped in front of the building. I walked up and asked if I could help them, but the man said he was there to see the manager. I said, "He isn't here yet." Seems he wanted to put up a poster in our building advertising a night of wrestling nearby. It was then that I realized who the man was. Scandar Akbar! Famous in the wrestling world. I had watched him work for years! Now, here he was in front of me! I told him to leave the poster with me and I would get the approval personally! As he drove away it occurred to me that I hadn't even asked for an autograph! Rats!! 

You never know when that brush with fame will happen, so keep a sharp eye and a Sharpee on you!

Celeb Sightings!

 Over the years (and there have been plenty of those!) I have had the pleasure of either meeting famous people or having "brushes with fame." Either way it was kinda cool. 

While in college in Searcy, Arkansas, I was involved with the campus cable TV news. On a particularly fine morning I recived a call from the faculty sponsor of the station asking me to accompany a group from the station that was going to do a stand up interview with a celebrity who was performing in our area. Many of you will not have a clue who this celeb was, but others will know the name but remember his big one-hit-wonder song. Here's a hint: He married his wife (Miss Vickie) on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Another hint? Okay...He was known for "Tip Toeing" through life. Do you know him? Give up? It was Tiny Tim, the 1960's "Tip Toe Through The Tulips" guy! I went along to photograph the whole trip. It was a blast!

One other occasion I was in Mount Pleasant, Texas, when I brushed with greatness. I had driven my mother to a doctor's visit and grew hungry. Of course there wasn't a vending machine to be found in the building, so I walked across the highway to a convenience store to find sustenance and libation! I ended up with a Coke and a candy bar. Before making my final choices I decided it was a good time to hit the bathroom. So I did. As I reached to open the door it opened from the other side. A tall, well dressed,  older gentleman said, "Excuse me." and was gone. While paying for my selections I asked the guy behind the counter if he had noticed the man I described. He said, "Oh yes! He's a regular!" Then he asked me, "Didn't you recognize him?" I did not. "Who was he?" I asked. Come to find out he was a famous country and western singer. Ray Price to be exact! My butt had sat on the same toilet seat as Ray Price! Holy cats!

Years later I would have yet another opportunity to meet a famous person. I was working for a car dealership in Greenville, Texas. As an incentive to boost sales, the owners had challenged the sales team to sell 300 units in the month of February, If we met this goal we would be treated to a fancy steak dinner in one of the Dallas area's finest restaurants. We did. We were! Morton's Steak House in Addison, Texas, was the scene of our soiree. (That is pronounced Swar-ay in case y'all were wondering.) We even had an after dinner speaker. None other than Mr. Randy White (HOF '94) formerly of the Dallas Cowboys! Before the dinner we were each given a photo op with Mr. White. I spoke with him for about five minutes and moved on. He was one cool dude!

There have been other celeb sightings, but that'll do for now.

Ahhh the fun we little folk garner from being close to greatness...

In The Days Of Noe

 Years ago, in a far away place, in the mystical land of Noe, there lived a car salesman...me. I spent about ten years in that field and loved almost every minute of it! (There were times, though...)

I guess you could say I was a journeyman salesman. I was never satisfied enough to stay at one dealership more than a year or so, so I would "journey" on over to, or back to, a different one. Sometimes I left because I was restless. Sometimes I left  because they asked me to! I think I got "asked to leave" at least twice maybe three times from one dealership! Being fired from a dealership meant nothing if you were good at what you did. You could have a new place to work before you went ten miles down the road. I know because I did it! I worked for and was fired from the same dealership for about 5 of those ten years. Randall Noe Auto Group was a three part conglomerate: Ford, Dodge-Jeep Chrysler, and a separate Used Car Supercenter. I worked out of the Supercenter. I never sold a new vehicle if I could help it. There was no money to be made in new cars unless you sold in volume. I much preferred to sell one used car or truck and make $1000 in the same amount of time. And I did so often! My apologies to any of you to whom I sold a used vehicle, but fat boys gotta eat!

I often made my way up to the Ford store. They were all situated within yards of each other. My good friend "Loop" (Looper) worked there and was also a dang good salesman. One of my best sales was to Loop. It wasn't a car. No no...something even better! You see...I played the lotto numbers back then and one night I matched 5 out of the 6 numbers! Paid me a whopping $675! I, however, had no desire to find and make my way to the lotto headquarters in Dallas to cash the ticket in! I told Loop about my situation and he offered to "help me out" by taking the ticket off my hands for $500 cash. SOLD!

A couple of days later Loop found me and told me he had mde the trip to Dallas and cashed in. He then told me that the lottery commission deducts taxes from anything over a certain amount. It seems I came out pretty sweet on the deal! Sorry Loop! (He probably came out about even on it in actuality.)

I had lots of good times working at the RNAG. If I could stay away from the owner I was completely at peace! I got quite good at spotting him and the GM lurking around the stores in unmarked cars watching for folks loafing. I stayed on the lot watching for customers, so I had nothing to worry about, but the idea of dealing with them just held no appeal to me. 

From time to time the Used Car Director, my man Mayo, would decide we needed to eat a good meal and we would fire up the grill out back around the corner of the building! Everyone pitched in and we bought meat and veggies to grill. Those were some of the best times I remember! Mayo passed a few years ago. I would almost bet you that the bottom line profit there dropped like a rock in a vacuum! He made that place rock! He also made me a ton of commission. It was a great thing to work a deal with Mayo. You were sure to make a large commission! I once made over $2000 on one sale!

RNAG has since sold out to one of those Dallas based chain dealerships. I would not work for them on a dare. I hate the chain stores and their ways of doing business. But my memories of Mayo, Loop, and all things "car-sales" related remain etched in my mind. An old salesman told me the first day I was hired by a dealership, "Son. Make sure this is what you want to do, because it will get in your blood." He was right. If my health would let me I would be selling cars to this day...somewhere. It gets in your blood.