The Mosquito Truck

 

Many moons ago, when the buffalo roamed the plains and stuff like that, I was a little boy. OK, so I wasn't born in the 1800's, but you get the picture...I'm old. It has been a long time since I was a kid. I can still recall those days, though! We rode our bikes and played around the neighborhood until dark. Life was good.

One memory that stands out quite vividly is that glorious thrill we got as kids when the mosquito man came to our neighborhood to spray God only knows what to ward off those pesky bugs. Grab your bike kids! It's time to ride around completely covered by the fog of spray behind the truck! I hear it's DDT day!! To think that no one went to jail for allowing their kid to do this is amazing given the natureof the Karen's in the world today. Beware! They are everywhere, lurking in the shadows and cracks of the very ground you walk on!

Seriously, though...What were our parents thinking?! We were kids. It wasn't expected of us to think. That's why moms and grandmas carried switches, or at least had access to a tree whereby you might be expected to go cut your own. If we messed up we got a whipping. This was pre-time-out. Mom or grandma would put that switch on your bottom to remind you you messed up and to permanently place in your mind not to do whatever it was you just did. If you did something egregious enough they would stand up and grab you by one arm. That way they could whip you in a circle, thus shortening the distance they might have to travel should you be opposed to the whipping. Grandma usually tired out or became dizzy and you got off easy. Mom on the other hand, not so much. It's a wonder we never got run over by that truck or worse yet, got cancer from the poison spray! Some may have. I don't know. I don't recall anyone among my group succumbing to the effects of the moquito fog.

What has happened to our country? You won't find kids doing the things we did back then. No staying outside all day. No playing in the front yard unsupervised even! Too much meanness in the world. Too many perverts. Too much pure evil period! Now days kids are too busy with Xbox and Roblox and Mine Craft and that mess to play outside anyway! What we need is fewer electronic gadgets and more porches where mom and grandma can sit and rock and visit with the neighbor from down the street while watching kids play. And mosquito trucks...we need more mosquito trucks.

Dumb Stuff I Do...

 

If I had to narrow it down to one thing in my life I have done that was, shall we say, "unenlightened", I do not think I could do it. Dumb stuff seems to follow me wherever I go in life. How many kids do you know who can leave music class headed to home room and took a two month detour by way of a hospital bed? 

Tonight was no exception. I had had lunch at my mother-in-law's house and left headed home. I checked the clock on my car radio and it read 5:30. I figured I would just keep going past my house and go straight to church a few miles down the road. Church starts at 6:00, so I would make it just a few minutes early...no big deal, right? Well... 

I pulled into the parking lot at 5:45 and noticed there were no cars there yet. Not unusual for a Sunday night during NFL season. Most people get there right at six. When six o'clock rolled around and still no one but me on the lot I was puzzled. Where the heck was everyone? I checked my phone and saw the problem. My car clock was an hour ahead! I felt so stupid!! It appears that when I set the minutes back to correct the time this morning, I somehow set the hour up one. Only me man, only me.

If the hour were not so late right now (I double checked and the clock is correct) I suppose I could cite many more examples from my "body of work", but I'm tired and this will have to do. Have a great night everyone!

It Really Happened!

I remember back in high school, we had a baseball coach who was, to me, the epitome of cool. Coach Hopkins. He was the freshman football coach and the baseball guy. In the summer he pitched for the area semi-pro baseball team. He was good, too!He could make the ball dance in the air! However, as is the case with all things, Coach Hopkins grew tired or bored or whatever and decided to go a different direction. He left coaching and became a Texas State Trooper. 

I got this story straight from his wife, so I know it is true. Coach was fresh out of Trooper school and was assigned to an area in Buffalo Texas, about halfway between Dallas and Houston. 

Now for the good part. On his first day on his own Coach stopped a speeding car on I-10. He approached the car unaware of what awaited him inside. He walked up to the driver's side window and leaned down to look inside. That's when he saw what could never be unseen. Two occupants. A man and a woman. Completely nude. Sans clothing. "Butt nekid."  Au Naturale as the French would say. Seems they were on their honeymoon and wanted to "let it all hang out"! Legend has it he let them go with a warning. I guess he pretty much had to, I mean...he couldn't pin anything on them!

Here's to our Troopers, Texas or wherever! I'll bet there are many more even better stories out there!

Adventures In Smokey Mountain Travel.

 

That was fun! Just spent a week in the Great Smokey Mountains and I got the T-shirt to show for it! Well... It's a dirty T-Shirt that I took with me on vacation and it's in the hamper waiting to get washed, but I got a T-Shirt! (It wasn't dirty when I took it with me. Just to be clear.)

I should explain that my brother lives in the Smokies and I spent the week with him and his wife. "Enjoyd the livin' tar out of it!" as the old timers used to say. One hour north of Knoxville on a mountain to be more specific. I can't remember the last time I have enjoyed myself so much while doing a whole lot of nothing! Hauling off scrap metal. Feeding sheep and chickens and dogs. Taking the cow to the vet for AI. Picking up said cow from vet. Changing the battery in an old pick-up. Watching a very skilled man use a large piece of heavy equipment to clear a patch of land. Stuff like that. No trips to see the great sights and sounds of East Tennessee and North Carolina. Just a lot of quality time spent with the old man who used to be young like me and who somewhat looks like me! 

I realize the trip sounds like it would not be all that fun, but I had a blast! Time with family takes on a whole different context as we get older. It wasn't about going to the National Forrest or DollyWood or any of that. It was about time spent with family. This was time well spent!

Listen For His Voice

 When I was dealing with cancer, 14 years ago, I would often lay awake in the wee hours of the morning. One O'clock. Two O'clock. Couldn't sleep. My mind was on fast forward and I couldn't shut it off. Too many "what if's" racing through my head. What if the chemo doesn't work? What if the surgery goes wrong? What if I loose my hair? (OK...That one was already in progress and it wasn't from the medicine!) What if my family has to go on without me?

What if I die?

The "what if's" were a major problem, but I didn't want to tell anyone. I was determined to tough it out on my own. Besides, who could help me anyway?! So I lay there, night after night. I tossed and I turned. I got up and played on my computer. I lay back down and tossed some more. 

Then one night, as the darkness of the room tried to hide all hope, I thought about Job and how he was in distress and how he questioned God. That did not go so well for him, but it got me thinking. Many characters from the bible crossed my mind. Then it hit me...Elijah. God caused a strong wind, then a great fire followed by an earthquake, but He was not in those.Then God spoke to Elijah in a still small voice. God asked Elijah, "What are you doing here?" While I did not hear a voice, I did get the message. What was I doing?! It was not so much what I WAS doing as what I was NOT doing. I was not trusting God. I was not listening for His voice. I was feeling sorry for myself! Then I did something I had needed to do the whole time...I prayed. I turned the whole mess over to God...and I slept. For the first time in a long time, I slept. When I woke up I was determined that I was not going to let the "what if's" get back in my head. 

You know what? My chemo treatments went fine. My surgery went perfectly. God handled the heavy lifting when I finally got out of the way!

It is not easy to turn your situation over to God sometimes. It's hard, actually. But if we stop getting in the way with our worries and listen for that still small voice, we may just find God in the room with us! He may not be in what the doctors have to say. He may not be in what we read on the internet. He may just be in that still small voice we hear in His whisper,"I got this. Get out of the way and let Me handle things." 

Listen? Can you hear it?

Brushes With Fame On The Car Lot

 Celeb sightings part two!

I have mentioned before that I spent about ten years working as a Used Car Salesman. During that time I was privileged to meet many people...some of them famous! You never know who you will stumble into on a car lot. 

In 1998 I was working for a Cadillac dealership near Dallas. We also sold very nice used vehicles and that is where I spent most of my time. However, I would venture down to the main store from time to time, and that was where I met a fella whom I had admired through the magic of television. He was one of my favorite pro football players of all time. Preston Pearson of the World Champion Dallas Cowboys! He wore that number 26 jersey like a king wears a crown! He was "Mr. 3rd down and short" and was the "go to" guy for Roger Staubach for years. Pearson was in our dealership with his press agent who was buying a new Cadillac Escalade. Unfortunately I was not the one selling it. He offered to sign 8X10 photos of himself in action. I took him up on the offer. 

Not long after that incident I found my way to a new dealership. It was located in Terrell, Texas. That is why I happened to meet the next guy. I was in the Ford building for some reason when I looked up and saw a young man I knew looked familiar. I wasn't sure why, but he did. I walked over and apologized for staring at him and asked his name. "Jamie Foxx", he replied. Yes! I said, "You're Ugly Wanda!" He laughed and said he was indeed Ugly Wanda. I should explain for any youngsters reading this that Ugly Wanda was a character on a show called In Living Color on a new network called "The WB." Foxx was at the dealership to buy his mom a new car. A nice Taurus, as I recall. He was rather stand-offish, but not rude.

Shortly after I met Foxx I was working the early shift on the used car side. I watched as a nice Cadillac stopped in front of the building. I walked up and asked if I could help them, but the man said he was there to see the manager. I said, "He isn't here yet." Seems he wanted to put up a poster in our building advertising a night of wrestling nearby. It was then that I realized who the man was. Scandar Akbar! Famous in the wrestling world. I had watched him work for years! Now, here he was in front of me! I told him to leave the poster with me and I would get the approval personally! As he drove away it occurred to me that I hadn't even asked for an autograph! Rats!! 

You never know when that brush with fame will happen, so keep a sharp eye and a Sharpee on you!

Celeb Sightings!

 Over the years (and there have been plenty of those!) I have had the pleasure of either meeting famous people or having "brushes with fame." Either way it was kinda cool. 

While in college in Searcy, Arkansas, I was involved with the campus cable TV news. On a particularly fine morning I recived a call from the faculty sponsor of the station asking me to accompany a group from the station that was going to do a stand up interview with a celebrity who was performing in our area. Many of you will not have a clue who this celeb was, but others will know the name but remember his big one-hit-wonder song. Here's a hint: He married his wife (Miss Vickie) on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Another hint? Okay...He was known for "Tip Toeing" through life. Do you know him? Give up? It was Tiny Tim, the 1960's "Tip Toe Through The Tulips" guy! I went along to photograph the whole trip. It was a blast!

One other occasion I was in Mount Pleasant, Texas, when I brushed with greatness. I had driven my mother to a doctor's visit and grew hungry. Of course there wasn't a vending machine to be found in the building, so I walked across the highway to a convenience store to find sustenance and libation! I ended up with a Coke and a candy bar. Before making my final choices I decided it was a good time to hit the bathroom. So I did. As I reached to open the door it opened from the other side. A tall, well dressed,  older gentleman said, "Excuse me." and was gone. While paying for my selections I asked the guy behind the counter if he had noticed the man I described. He said, "Oh yes! He's a regular!" Then he asked me, "Didn't you recognize him?" I did not. "Who was he?" I asked. Come to find out he was a famous country and western singer. Ray Price to be exact! My butt had sat on the same toilet seat as Ray Price! Holy cats!

Years later I would have yet another opportunity to meet a famous person. I was working for a car dealership in Greenville, Texas. As an incentive to boost sales, the owners had challenged the sales team to sell 300 units in the month of February, If we met this goal we would be treated to a fancy steak dinner in one of the Dallas area's finest restaurants. We did. We were! Morton's Steak House in Addison, Texas, was the scene of our soiree. (That is pronounced Swar-ay in case y'all were wondering.) We even had an after dinner speaker. None other than Mr. Randy White (HOF '94) formerly of the Dallas Cowboys! Before the dinner we were each given a photo op with Mr. White. I spoke with him for about five minutes and moved on. He was one cool dude!

There have been other celeb sightings, but that'll do for now.

Ahhh the fun we little folk garner from being close to greatness...