OK...I am supposed to be on a diet. I meant to be on a diet but something happened along the way. I didn't see it coming or which way it went when it left the scene of the crime, but something came along! I was on a high protien diet. I liked the food, and it wasn't hard on me. Then it happened... Out of nowhere I was attacked by fast food and soft drinks! (I have since managed to restrain my love for soft drinks, but the fast food is a monkey on my back!)
Why does forbidden food taste extra good when you are on a diet? I mean, I am unable to control myself when I am in the vicinity of a Whopper and fries! Men and brethren, it aught not to be so! (A little scriptural lingo for some of y'all who need it!) But it IS so! I get near an order of jalopeno and cheddar bites and I can't stand it. I gotta have some. A large order, not a puny 4 count. And they are sooooooo good! I am glad I am at home right now and not still in town. I might succumb to the desires of the flesh! (More lingo there...)
Today I had to go to Wal Mart and pick up prescriptions. As I left the parking lot my car suddenly had a mind of it's own. I blame AI! It veered over into the Burger King drive through and stopped at the speaker. A voice that sounded like mine said, "I want a number one combo." What just happened?! Then my car pulled itself around to the first window and my debit card jumped out of my pocket and swiped itself! I was in some sort of shock. I did the only thing I knew to do...I ate the combo and drove home.
Like I said, I am "supposed to be on a diet." I'm calling today a "cheat day". Come to think of it... I'm calling every day this week a cheat day. There! I feel better now!
Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet! But today I shall "have it my way!"
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