So there I was...for the second time in two weeks. Sitting there on that table in a backless gown that would rival anything Versachi ever designed. Hospital issued, of course. I don't even think it was tied right. Two ties isn't gonna do much for a hospital gown on a guy six feet tall.
It was rather lonely in that curtain enclosed space, waiting on someone to wheel me back so that they could do unspeakable things to me while I was enjoying the Propafol induced slumber I had missed out on the night before. I had not slept much due to constant running to the bathroom! Have you ever had a colonoscopy? Ever pretended that it wasn't so bad? Ever tried convincing yourself that the events caused by that nasty concoction you had to drink would end soon, knowing you were just lying to yourself? The taste of that creation of Satan was bad enough, but what it brought was many times worse! I saw things. BAD things! Things I swallowed in third grade on a dare! About half way through I heard a voice from somewhere deep inside me say, "I'm coming Lord!"
Now remember, this was my second colonoscopy in two weeks! The fun had been drained by the first one. I found no joy in this one! We will not discuss what they require you to do before they let you leave!
Why are the nurses all staring and trying to cover their laughter??
That was in 2010. Now time has passed. I have had, I believe, 7 colonoscopies to date (16 years). Got another one coming in about a year. But I guess there are worse things in life. Root canals, maybe? Kidney stones are no fun either.
What a joy it is to get older. However, given the alternative...
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