Diet? What Diet?

 OK...I am supposed to be on a diet. I meant to be on a diet but something happened along the way. I didn't see it coming or which way it went when it left the scene of the crime, but something came along! I was on a high protien diet. I liked the food, and it wasn't hard on me. Then it happened... Out of nowhere I was attacked by fast food and soft drinks! (I have since managed to restrain my love for soft drinks, but the fast food is a monkey on my back!) 

Why does forbidden food taste extra good when you are on a diet? I mean, I am unable to control myself when I am in the vicinity of a Whopper and fries! Men and brethren, it aught not to be so! (A little scriptural lingo for some of y'all who need it!) But it IS so! I get near an order of jalopeno and cheddar bites and I can't stand it. I gotta have some. A large order, not a puny 4 count. And they are sooooooo good! I am glad I am at home right now and not still in town. I might succumb to the desires of the flesh! (More lingo there...) 

Today I had to go to Wal Mart and pick up prescriptions. As I left the parking lot my car suddenly had a mind of it's own. I blame AI! It veered over into the Burger King drive through and stopped at the speaker. A voice that sounded like mine said, "I want a number one combo." What just happened?! Then my car pulled itself around to the first window and my debit card jumped out of my pocket and swiped itself! I was in some sort of shock. I did the only thing I knew to do...I ate the combo and drove home.

Like I said, I am "supposed to be on a diet." I'm calling today a "cheat day". Come to think of it... I'm calling every day this week a cheat day. There! I feel better now! 

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet! But today I shall "have it my way!"

I'm Hungry!

 I'm hungry. I have not had breakfast yet, and here it is almost 10 o'clock in the morning! Time gets away from me when I sit down at this stupid computer. Literally hours slip past while I scroll and comment! HOURS! I need to get rid of the darn thing, but I enjoy it too much. I can keep up with old friends and former co-workers. I can Google stuff and argue with folks over politics! You'd be surprised how many keyboard warriors I run into who want to disagree with my correct opinions!They get all testy and mad and I just comment back and laugh at their ignorance and intolerant opinions. LOL! 

But back to beng hungry... I ate a sandwich last night about nine. It's gone now. I need something quick and tastey! Maybe another sandwich?! But that would mean I had to get up from all the fun I am having playing on this computer. I'll make it a few more minutes, I'm sure. The little store up the road about three miles has good stuff! I may go there for a large order of fries! But then...That would mean getting up and leaving my precious keyboard. Curses! Whoever designed these things was an evil genius! Whatever shall I do?!

Uh oh... I am starting to feel the urge to head to the little writer's room down the hall! Now I GOTTA get up and leave my spot! I suppose this would be a good time to stop and post this goofy blog. Then it's off to the store for fries! Must be God's way of keeping me from getting into more "discussions" with those keyboard warriors I mentioned. 

I shall go silently into the night and purchase for myself fries with salt, pepper, and ketchup! Perhaps a bottle of water to wash them down! Then I shall return to "discuss" with yet another person with a wrong viewpoint! FAREWELL!